In fact every day, we response to the events in our lives based on our conscious or unconscious beliefs. When is the last time you have a new belief? Or create a belief for yourself? Were you aware when you adopted or created that belief? Or just let the new adopted belief dictates what and how you suppose to be?
Are you the master of your beliefs or the beliefs dictate who you are?
Chances are high that we all had one or many heart breaking experiences with our ex-lovers. When the relationship ended, amongst all the negative feelings and thoughts we had, we took up new beliefs unconsciously while we were making statements like, “all men/women are the same, they are selfish and only care about themselves…”, “I shouldn’t have believed him/her, whoever cheated before would cheat again…” or “I can never trust man/woman again, it’s just full of lies and excuses…” and many other more. So we enter our next relationship with these new beliefs and hoping the outcome of this new relationship will be somehow different from our beliefs. We in fact having contradicting beliefs to what we really want to believe; at the same time, these contradicting beliefs are limiting us to give 100% of ourselves to this new relationship.
Beliefs in relationship is just one aspect of our lives. There are beliefs related to family, health, work, personal development and money. Not to mention if you have a religious background and associated beliefs.
We need to realize that WE HAVE EVERY POWER TO CHOOSE WHAT WE WANT TO BELIEVE!
Beliefs that have been given to us as a child can be further embraced, modified for better or removed. Human beings are social animals, sometimes compromising in beliefs could happen (just to make others happy). If you CHOOSE to compromise, be happy about your compromising. No complaints or back firing afterward. Be responsible! If you really don’t want to compromise, MAKE A DECISION to adopt a new belief that will give you self-assurance on your beliefs. A belief like the below might be helpful:
“THERE CAN BE DIFFERENT BELIEFS BETWEEN YOU AND ANYONE; AND IT IS PERFECTLY OK. NO JUDGEMENT, NOTHING GOOD OR BAD, RIGHT OR WRONG ABOUT IT. IT’S JUST LIKE WEARING DIFFERENT STYLE OF CLOTHES. SAME TASTES YOU SHARED WITH OTHERS; SOME YOU JUST DON’T. THE CLOTHES YOU WEAR HIGHLIGHT THE BEST IN YOU; SO DO YOUR BELIEFS. YOU DON’T HAVE TO AGREE WITH OTHERS’ BELIEFS, PERHAPS YOU MAY TRY ACCEPTING THE DIFFERENCES. THIS SHOULD APPLY TO OTHERS TOO!”
Once you take on the above belief, ‘compromising’ will not appear as the only way; and you will need the courage to stand firm for what you believe in and make it clear to others.
I believe: “Everything is possible, as long as I give my very best.” There is a hard truth that it is just not the case in some circumstances; however I am always encouraged by this belief to go an extra mile, to find more alternatives, options and not to stop or give up at the first obstacle. And I still choose to stand firm on this belief.
The limiting aspect of a belief
There are always two sides of a coin. Beliefs that I take as positive influence may have their negative aspects too.
Just take the belief I have above as an example, “Everything is possible, as long as I gave my very best.” when I don’t achieve my goals, I start to judge myself on not giving ‘my very best‘; otherwise I would have achieved the goals. I lash myself to give more efforts (normally on the same actions which I have been doing already, instead of smart thinking and find other solutions). I become more and more stubborn in achieving the goals and start blaming myself for still not achieving the goals! It’s all just because I believe I am not giving ‘my very best‘! The belief has limited myself from being open-minded about my results, from seeing a new possibility of alternative solutions, as well as recognizing and appreciating ‘my very best‘ efforts.
And yet, I have not mentioned when I impose the same beliefs over others and start thinking they are not giving their very best… Just try not to copy what I did, imposing own beliefs over others… life will be much easier if we just accept others’ beliefs which we are not necessary agree.
Our Beliefs are Our Perceptions
Our beliefs reflect our perceptions which sometimes might not be true and may be distorted according to our own past experiences and unconscious wishes. We need to fully understand the source of our perceptions and make a clear distinction on if the source is factual or based on emotions and past experiences. To drill down to the source of our perception enables us to release ourselves from false perception we had, hence to alter our beliefs.
The main message of this article is:
to know our own beliefs, the limiting aspects of the beliefs and to make new choices. So that we may grow strong with the beliefs we consciously choose and at the same time not to be limited by these beliefs! How to Examine and Challenge Your Own Beliefs?!
Join us with our weekly challenge, Challenge Your Beliefs and find out more about our own beliefs!
“Belief Works” by Ray Dodd (A book that I am currently reading)
Examining Your Beliefs
Changing Core Beliefs
The First Step in Changing Your Belief System
Remove a Limiting Belief in about 20 Minutes
Make A Choice – Stand Behind It And Believe In Yourself
“ReCreate Your Life” hosted by Morty Lefkoe
(I go through his free online materials and find it quite useful as it gives step-by-step guidance.)