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Self-focused questions “How am I doing lately?”

In my Day 30 – How you love yourself in the coming 90 days? Today’s home work, end of Sep final updates, a quote of encouragement on Sep 28: “No matter how busy or tired I am, I am committed to take at least 1 hour a week conversing with myself.” And exactly what topics do I talk to myself?

An important question for all of us before all other questions I asked myself is –>

Do I spend enough time with myself, listen to my inner voices and have peace within? 

We all need certain levels of assurance and reassurance to ourselves (that we are being oneself, living the life the way we want and we know what we are doing) and security (where not to worry about getting hurt or suffer, be as free and safe within) in our lives, both physically and mentally, especially the later. These two provide a sense of stability and peace anchoring within ourselves, steady the our inner being, even when our outer surrounding is full of chaos.

The level of assurance and security needed may vary accordingly to our backgrounds, past experiences and most present situations. The source of the providers often we think is and count on others and in fact, we ourselves are the ultimate source. It is for our own well-being and benefits to understand self well, take the responsibility and be our own source provider.

The below is a list of questions I am asking myself on regular basis: (Just be very honest with yourself and not to judge yourself; pay attention to the first answer in mind, it is often the most true reflection of your current thoughts. Be gentle and keep in mind this is to spend quality time with self, not to criticize self)

  • How am I feeling lately? (both physically and mentally)
  • Am I happy? Truly happy? And why is that? May I do something about it? (replacing ‘happy’ with ‘content’, ‘satisfied’, ‘enjoying life’, ‘sad’, ‘angry’, ‘upset’, ‘tired’, ‘stressed’, ‘worried’, ‘calm’, ‘focused’, ‘determined’, ‘relaxed’, ‘appreciative’, ‘creative’, ‘healthy’, ‘demotivated’, ‘judgmental’, ‘blaming’, ‘fearless’, ‘resentful’, ‘growing’, ‘honest’, ‘being loved’, ‘loving’, ‘avoiding’, ‘free spirit’, ‘having hard time’, ‘running out of time’, ‘energetic’, ‘inspired’, ‘lonely’ … etc. you may go through few emotion adjectives as above or select the one best describes you and dig into it.) 
  • How far am I from my personal goals? (Do I have a personal goal?)
  • How is my work vs. life balance at the moment?
  • How have I changed emotionally and physically from last month? (How is my well-being?) 
  • What can I do differently for myself next month?
  • What did I do last month that I am proud of? (Take time to appreciate how good I am!)
  • Am I growing or learning or enriching myself? (Developing my potential…)
  • What is(are) my priority(ies) in the coming month? (take 1 month at a time – this helps to regain focus on what is important and close to your heart) 
  • What makes me happy? (and grant yourself to do that :P what’s the wait?)
  • If I win 1 million dollars, what would I do and feel? (this question is to encourage dreaming~ every dream with realizable action plans => goals coming true!!)

The purpose of the above question is to constantly be aware of our own thoughts and feelings. Many people who are stressed often neglect the early warnings that are sent out from their mind and bodies. If we are all aware of early signals and having regular check up or conversations with self, life will be much happier and more relaxed!!

While you taking time surfing on the net and reading nice articles, why not take another 5 minutes to answer the above question for yourselves, having a little intimacy with self!!

 
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Posted by on October 25, 2012 in Thoughts

 

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Self-development 101

 “The greatest enemy of tomorrow’s success is today’s success” by Rick Warren

I have to admit, I have been complacent with my August Completed – 30 Days on How to love your partner and switching myself completely off from the areas of bucket list challenges writing and self-disciplining to areas of focusing on relaxation and self-indulgence :)

With end of September final updates and reading of “Self-improvement 101” by John C Maxwell. I have woken up from my prolonged self-indulgence and procrastination; realizing that I have been spending lots less time on personal growth. I felt like as if I am standing on an escalator going down, but I am trying to go up; and the moment I stop walking up, I am being taken down by the escalator to the bottom. I did enjoy my own satisfaction and relaxation, but at the same time being fooled by it.

Self-development will not happen by itself for us; it requires dedicated intention and efforts. How much we are willing to invest in ourselves is how much at the end of the day, we will harvest from ourselves. If there is an area of life you would like to develop further, let’s work on it for the coming month. Quoted from Earl Nightingale: “If a person will spend one hour a day on the same subject for five years, that person will be an expert on that subject.” Indeed, 1 hour a day for 5 years, that is 1,825 hours in total, roughly equals to 228 working days (assuming 8 hours per day). It’s like a year of short term study (advance enrichment). I am now amazed that 1 hour a day may turned into something sounds grand, even a second career development!

So, if there is something you would like to spend this 1 hour on? 

It’s not ‘time’ that we don’t have, it’s self-discipline. Once your goal is set (and it has to be your passion), then put yourself into a non-bargain-able daily hour program (refer below example, skip weekend if you want) and
Example: first select your to be developed area or subject (i.e. want to learn an instrument, want to be a life coach or learn photography…) and ENJOY the learning experience (not to be burden by it).

  • monday: read books or articles about it
  • tuesday: take relevant lessons or workshops
  • wednesday: make notes, reflect and integrate knowledge from monday & tuesday
  • thursday: field search (via Internet or stores…) on special techniques, trends and what are being offered on the market
  • friday: put into practices

If you don’t have something in mind, it’s never to late to find out more about yourself and something you are interested!

 
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Posted by on October 23, 2012 in Thoughts

 

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Final Sep update on My 5 self-love actions for the next 90 days (Part 3/3)

Sorry for the delay! Finally it’s here! :)

Day 30 – Today’s home work: Create a self-love plan of 5 action items for the coming 90 days (July, August, September) The below is my 5 self-love actions with final month, end of Sep updates: (my end of August updates and end of July updates)

(1) Read 3 self-love books (1 book by the end of each month)

3rd book checked – Self-improvement 101” by John C Maxwell.

Additional book read: “Social Intelligence: The new science of human relationships” by Daniel Goleman.

(2) One statement per day (30 by each month end)

      • Sep 1 – It’s better to be well prepared than sorry.
      • Sep 2 – There is nothing more important than embracing and standing firmly for certain family values. I am making the changes for a better family life
      • Sep 3 – The easiest and fastest way to change the world is to change ourselves.
      • Sep 4 – Do not let others to decide or to disturb on how I will live through my day today.
      • Sep 5 – Nothing is so urgent in life (don’t have to rush all the time), unless when life itself become urgent (facing life and death situation).
      • Sep 6 – Helping others is like having pollen and seeds spreading around, we never know what kind of flowers, fruits or outcomes it will bring. It is not so much about expecting any return, but rather not to underestimate the impacts that we bring on others. (I encourage myself keep on spreading the seeds of surprises!)

        • Sep 7 – When I start to focus on how much others do for me, I start to realize how little I do for others. 
        • Sep 8 – Loving self is an important life long subject; but we often forget to keep it in the daily program.
        • Sep 9 – Take 2-3 hours to do something I like regularly, i.e. per week, I feel much more with myself and  happy with myself.
        • Sep 10 – Self-improvement is meant for ‘self’, not for others.
        • Sep 11 – Type of life we are living in is reflected in the types of daily activities we do. (if want to change the type of life, we got to change the activities)

  • Sep 12 – if we don’t change, we don’t grow. If we don’t grow, we are not really living.” by Gail Sheehy
  • Sep 13 – Growth is certainly a choice; no one says it is easy, but for sure rewarding!
  • Sep 14 – Focus on self-development, not self-fulfillment. (self-development is a bigger goal than self-fulfillment. Self-fulfillment is the by-product benefit of self-development)
  • Sep 15 – Anyone appears in our lives for a reason. I may not understand what is the reason right away, but I am willing to explore and learn more from them.
  • Sep 16 – Resting is preparing for the next heard work!
  • Sep 17 – Finding life purpose calling is not easy (especially we don’t listen to our hearts), but it will come when we start to pay attention.
  • Sep 18 – Sometimes what I think it is good for others may not be the case. Always double check with consideration.
  • Sep 19 – Within an interaction, how I react enrolls how other responses. (meaning if I want my boss to trust me that I am handling everything well, I need to first show my boss I am handling my boss well)
  • Sep 20 – Where I am being myself and expose myself, it does not mean I am weak and vulnerable. I just choose to let others to see the naked me. (don’t have to guess me)
  • Sep 21 – He who dares loving, trying and giving is really living!
  • Sep 22 – Managing self is easier than managing others; nevertheless, we like to manage others first.
  • Sep 23 – A winner knows how much he still has to learn, even when he is considered an expert by others; a loser wants to be considered as an expert before he has learned enough to know how little he knows. by Sydney Harris
  • Sep 24 – Live like there is no next month.
  • Sep 25 – It’s not ‘time’ that we don’t have, it’s self-discipline.
  • Sep 26 – Develop a plan, working toward according to the plan and discipline myself without any excuses.
  • Sep 27 – What is life like with a limited life with unfulfilled potentials?
  • Sep 28 – No matter how busy or tired I am, I am committed to take at least 1 hour a week conversing with myself (i.e.how I am feeling, how I have been, am I happy, how far am I from my personal goals, how is my life/work balance and so on).
  • Sep 29 – Always give self extra credit, support and courage to do things desired.
  • Sep 30 – “The greatest enemy of tomorrow’s success is today’s success” by Rick Warren

(3) Two hours of exercise per week (8.5 hours every month) 65% checked – took an hour every week during lunch time to do some fast walking around the block and 30 minutes stretching each night before going to bed. Certainly over the past 90 days, there were still room to improve; and I keep on telling myself to continue going ahead, not to let yesterday’s failure dis-encourages tomorrow’s success!

(4) Two activities per month that I would love to do with myself (2 activities to share each month) Checked! Take a good bath with oil, home made ice tea with candle and music :) Treat myself with world famous singer concert (Madonna’s concert)!!

(5) Save $100 per month for the thing that I always wanted ($100 more at the end of each month) Checked! Not only I have saved $300, a friend of mine has given me an iPAD as a gift! So wonderful~ it’s like when I start to accumulate wealth, wealth itself multiplies!!! (law of attraction?)

 
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Posted by on October 21, 2012 in Thoughts

 

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Aug update on My 5 self-love actions for the next 90 days (Part 2/3)

Day 30 – Today’s home work: Create a self-love plan of 5 action items for the coming 90 days (July, August, September)

The below is my 5 self-love actions with end of Aug updates:
(my end of July updates)

(1) Read 3 self-love books (1 book by the end of each month)

2nd book checked – Encouragement changes everything by John C Maxwell.

The next book for September is “Self-improvement 101” by John C Maxwell.

(2) One statement per day (30 by each month end)

  • Aug 1 – Encouragement is the oxygen to the soul.
  • Aug 2 – We always have choice to be who we want to be!
  • Aug 3 – It would be easier to hike with the right shoes…
  • Aug 4 – Let no ‘expectation’ traps me into the ‘should be’ situation and disturbs me emotionally.

  • Aug 5 – I am really proud of myself facing up to my weaknesses.
  • Aug 6 – Life is beautiful. I will take time to slow down and enjoy the beauty.
  • Aug 7 – I can do it! I can let go the urge of wanting to be right! 
  • Aug 8 – Empathy is the pillar for an intimate and strong relationship.
  • Aug 9 – At time of difficult moment, take one day at a time; difficult period will eventually pass.
  • Aug 10 – Not to over worry for people or things that I have no control over or not responsible of. 
  • Aug 11 – Relationship requires investment of love, time, energy, compromises, understanding, patience, communication and faith. The more we invest, the more we reap on the way!
  • Aug 12 – Trust is the foundation of a relationship. I will give 100% of trust at the beginning – what do I get to lose?
  • Aug 13 – sometimes we ask for things that we are not ready to receive; in this case, perhaps it’s better that we wait a bit longer.
  • Aug 14 – Waiting for someone else’ to change takes very long time; it is easier to change ourselves first.
  • Aug 15 – Anyone appears in our lives for a reason. I may not understand what is the reason right away, but I am willing to explore and learn from.
  • Aug 16 – I am happy that I am a giver in love and also a taker.
  • Aug 17 – There are so many unfortunate events happening on other people around us; I will cherish what I have, not focus on what i don’t have.
  • Aug 18 – When I start to involve and consider my partner in decision making, from big to small decisions, it’s the time when i really in a relationship.
  • Aug 19 – Sometimes in a relationship, it’s not about what we can do for others, but merely the simple fact if we are there when asked or needed.
  • Aug 20 – To get recognized by others, sometimes is not about how well and how much you have done; but how much you stood up by your achievements.
  • Aug 21 – Always aim for the best and prepare for the worst.
  • Aug 22 – It’s never too late to make an apology.
  • Aug 23 – Do what you can while alive; once when time is up, action ceases.
  • Aug 24 – Be humble; the more we know, the less we know.
  • Aug 25 – Forgive is to forget and let go; not to ignore.
  • Aug 26 – A bold heart is half of the battle.
  • Aug 27 – Less is more. 
  • Aug 28 – The best gifts in life are given when we are not asking for them.
  • Aug 29 – When my partner embraces my temper in silence, it does not mean it doesn’t hurt, so I may abuse it; it means he loves me and my temper more than he loves himself.
  • Aug 30 – Thinking out of box sometimes, it helps thinking in the box!
  • Aug 31 – I may not be the best perfect partner that my partner wishes for; but I am proud of being the partner I am to my partner.

(3) Two hours of exercise per week (8.5 hours every month)

50% checked – only did 4 hours this month :( I would like to focus a bit more in restate my health in Sept!

(4) Two activities per month that I would love to do with myself (2 activities to share each month)

Checked! Finally visited my dream destination, a church in Mogno Switzerland designed by Mario Botha (see below); invited myself to a Japanese restaurant and enjoy food by myself.

(5) Save $100 per month for the thing that I always wanted ($100 more at the end of each month)

Checked! Total $200 by now and I have already bought the pad!!! YEH.. early achievement!

 
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Posted by on August 31, 2012 in Thoughts

 

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Completed – 30 Days on How to love your partner :)

30 Days to Love Our Partners!! We did it :) 

Dear Friends and Readers :)

After 30 Days on How to love yourself moreI have challenged myself on 30 Days on How to love your partner. It has been a great 30 days in my life and for my relationship with my partner. I have carried out the daily actions myself; some are quite challenging and requiring lots of space between my partner and I, some are easier and fun to do. We not only get to know each other much more in a deeper level, but also using the opportunities to make commitments embracing our differences and common goals in life. Both my partner and I have learnt a lot in this 30 days journey, I truly hope this mini-journey has brought and shared different perspectives of relationship, enriched and helped your relationship in any ways. 

Thank you all who read my posts, shared comments, gave feedback and liked what I believe :) Learning how to love is a lifelong journey, hope to see or hear from you again on the road.

I wish all of us all creating and profiting from the life we want and we create!

Love from Hsing/Cindy
 
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Posted by on August 31, 2012 in Thoughts

 

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Day 31 – How you love your partner for life?

Love the ways he or she expects or likes it~

In general, do you love your partner in your own ways or the ways your partner expects or a mix of the two? Do you insist on the view that what you think or what you give your partner is the best and is for your partner’s best interest? Do you know and carefully consider his or her needs before giving and sharing your opinions and love? Do you know which of your love actions make your partner feels loved and cared for?

We are all unique; we have our own ways of expressing, thinking and doing things, including loving ourselves and others. Sometimes we adopt the same approach of loving ourselves in loving others; sometimes we adjust or take a different approach. It’s important that we remind ourselves since we are all different due to our sexes, backgrounds, childhood, past experiences and so on, so we may have different needs in love. What you think is the best for your partner may not be the best or what he or she needs or wants.

For example, as a female partner, you may show your love by keeping a loving, clean home with meal prepared for your partner to come back to; however your partner might oversee all these and hope you energetically welcome him home with sweet words of greeting, comforting hugs or a simple massage after a long day instead of you busy with cooking and feeling tired due to the house chores. It’s a pity in the relationship where couples love and give each other so much, but the love is not fully received, just because the love given is not the love expected or wanted.

How would you love your partner in the days to come?

Today I love my partner by: (share it aloud to your partner)

Understanding what is my partner’s expectation of ‘being loved’ and committing myself to love in such ways expected by my partner.

For your actions:

(1)    List out ‘how you love your partner’.

(2)    Find out from your partner, what are the things you do that he or she feels loved by you; what are his or her examples of feeling loved.

(3)    From now, express your love the ways your partner expects or likes as mentioned in (2) above; let your partner feels your love.

 
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Posted by on August 31, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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Day 30 – Be creative in loving your partner

Creativity is the opposite of routine. Surprise your partner!

How do you love your partner? Are you constantly trying out new ways to love your partner, new manners to show and express your affection and caring, new channels to communicate your admiration, gratitude and appreciation? Are you being creative in loving your partner, delivering your love messages and actions, as well as creating the relationship you want? Surely your partner would not mind little versatility and dynamic in how you love him or her.

Ever thought that loving your partner may be creative? Love may be just love and you just love your partner and nothing in love can be ‘creative’ about it. If you are willing, give it a try and answer this: how many ways can you come up to express ‘you love your partner’? How many ways to say thank you to your partner? When you come up with 10 or 20 options, there will still be few out there, waiting for us to explore.

Sounds exciting, isn’t it? To go beyond what we know exist already and explore the unknown. It not only surprises your partner, but also excites ourselves in the exploring process. Here are some tips for being creative in loving your partner and building the relationship:

  • always brain storm for some new exciting ideas; not to stop at first and only idea
  • do something spontaneous and out of your ordinary routine, i.e. your colleague mentions a good place for night viewing today in office, why not take your partner to the place for a romantic night view (something you would not normally do in weekday).
  • deliver messages unconventionally, i.e. writing on the sand, through your singing, spelt out the message using MM chocolate, using post-it, graffiti….etc.
  • following the heart-felt moments; create environment for it and for surprises
  • go extra mile for your partner, try something new or wouldn’t dare to do

Relationship is what you create of it; it’s in your hand to excite and energize your love for your partner and the relationship. What you invest and put in the relationship, you and your partner will both benefit from it.

Today I love my partner by: (share it aloud to your partner)

Being creative in the ways I love my partner; I will try different ways.

For your actions:

(1)    Take time to brainstorm right now and come up with at least 5 NEW ways that you have never done before in expressing “I love you” to your partner. Do these 5 new ways with this week.

(2)    Create a small surprise in the coming weekend for your partner.

 

 
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Posted by on August 30, 2012 in Thoughts

 

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Day 29 – Be proud of your partner!

Let your partner be your pride and joy.

We are attracted to our partners for some or many reasons. These may be our partners’ character, personality, skills or abilities, his or her beliefs, attitudes and perceptions hold in life, outer appearance and inner virtues, habits and so on. These elements attribute to who our partners are and how they behave, live the lives with us and how they treat others. We are happily in love with our partners the ways they are and taking pride of their simple being.

Does your partner know how proud you are of him or her? Have you told or reminded your partner lately?

Take some time to list out all the qualities, areas that you are proud of your partner right now; something that your partner possesses or does that make you smiles, happy and feel good about it, just like as if it’s your own good qualities. It’s important in a couple relationships that we recognize these qualities that make us proud of our partner and openly appreciate and praise these elements. This does not only sweeten the relationship, but also affirms your partner as a human being.

If you are proud of yourself, express and embrace pride to yourself, you would know how to be proud of your partner. Being prideful is just one thin line across as being egoistic. When you take pride in someone or something, you view this someone or something with positive initiation and perspectives; you would want to be part of this someone’s life or this something. You are in favor and almost praise this someone or something. On the contrary, when you are egoistic, you think no one is better than you; so when you view others or events around you, more often with a look down and contempt attitudes and perceptions, as nothing is as good as you. You may tend to belittle someone or something. Be very careful about the thin line.

Your partner may be very different from you in many other ways; it does not stop you from admiring and be proud of him or her! Take pride in your partner and the relationship together.

Today I love my partner by: (share it aloud to your partner)

Taking pride and be proud of my partner as he or she is today.

For your actions:

(1)    List out the qualities, areas, beliefs or manners that your partner has that you are attracted to and are proud of.

(2)    Write to your partner or choose a good moment to share with your partner, how proud you are of him or her.

 

 
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Posted by on August 29, 2012 in Thoughts

 

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Day 28 – Give your partner time, space and patience to grow

Everything takes its time to grow, mature and consummate. By pulling the seeding, it will not help the plant to grow faster.

We have been brought up differently accordingly to our parents’ teaching, our social backgrounds, cultures and educations; we are learning through various thinking models, institutions and techniques; we are also growing and maturing based on our own unique personal experiences, failures and successes. Each of us has own favorite and effective ways of learning and requiring different time frames and space to grow. What is your most effective and efficient way to develop? In which areas would you like to improve and in what manners?

In a couple relationships, it is always easier to identify what our partners may improve, develop, grow up and get mature on. Our partners may agree or disagree on our views and take or not take actions subsequently. It is important that despite what we think or wish, our partners are individuals who are responsible for their own well-beings, own personal developments and growth, and we are here to support them, but not to take actions on behalf of them. Let them do at their own pace and timing.

If the above describes you in the relationship with your partner, taking this opportunity to open up a space where you are supporting and embracing your partner’s ways of enhancing him or herself. If your partner chooses not to do much about his or her own personal growth (after you challenge him or her out of own comfort zones), let him or her be. Perhaps your partner is thinking seriously and taking a break before starting or continuing. Let your own self-development be the inspiring example for your partner.

On the other hand, if your partner is the demanding, pushy one: express your gratitude to his or her goodwill on you; thank your partner for seeing your potentials and wanting the best for your development. Assure your partner that you are aware it’s your responsibility to grow, you are taking care of it; ask your partner to be patient and allow you to do it at your own speed and timing. Invite your partner to be a part of the process for the mental and physical supports, encouragements and recognitions, but not as an examiner who constantly checks for results.

Personal growth is a lifelong journey. It’s an honor to participate and be a part of someone’s development process, especially your partner’s. Seize the opportunity well, use your wisdom to support; let your involvements value-add your partner’s growth.

Today I love my partner by: (share it aloud to your partner)

Empowering and trusting he or she is taking care of his or her personal development; providing encouragements and recognitions when he or she needs it and a space allowing him or her to grow at own pace and timing.

For your actions:

(1)    Take time to think about how do you participate in your partner’s personal development? Do you take charge or empower and allow your partner to grow as he or she wishes?

(2)    How could you support your partner more in his or her own development?

 
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Posted by on August 28, 2012 in Thoughts

 

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Day 27 – Handle your partner with care ~

Relationship is like a water balloon; once you throw or drop it too hard, it breaks, water splashes out and it is finished.

In a relationship, there are many instances where tricky questions asked (i.e. do I look fat?), difficult messages delivered (i.e. you have bad breath…), sensitive topics discussed (i.e. performance in bed…), heated disagreements and arguments took place, as well as various vulnerable moments shared (i.e. open heart to heart talk and make up conversations). Do you hold, carry out yourself with love, respect and consideration for your partner, do you choose your responses carefully and appropriately under these circumstances?

We are all humans and not all perfect; we have our own emotions, weaknesses, blind spots and ego. It’s so possible and easy, if we don’t stay focus on our partners or the subject and watch out for distractions, that a simple conversation may turn into a heated argument, or further into a physical aggression when we lost total control of ourselves. We may say or do things that we are not intended to or regret afterwards. This not only hurts our partners mentally or physically, but also indirectly harms ourselves and damages the relationship.

A healthy relationship is able to endure the rough patches within a couple, the unintended hurts or insensitive dealing of the situation. But when the frequency gets too often and the degree of damage becomes too severe, it wears down the relationship and the love for each other. An old metaphor: relationship is like a love bank account, when you give and show your love to your partner, it’s like making a deposit into the bank account, a little by little. When you do something that’s harmful or damaging to the relationship, it’s a withdrawal from the account, decreasing at a much faster pace.

There are four golden rules proposed below on how we could handle our partners with care:

  • Find out what is the underlying reason(s) or goal(s) behind these questions, messages or conversations; it helps to know which direction and approach to take; conduct yourself towards and always stay in the direction
  • Always have your partner in your focus; pay attention to his or her emotions, feelings, reactions, body languages and unspoken messages
  • Listen to your partner more than you speak, try 7:3 ratio; ask more questions in a caring way to understand your partner’s hidden messages or concerns
  • Slow to response, since it is important for your partner and yourself, take time to response, to choose the use of words and manners appropriately and smartly

The important thing is to handle the situation with tenderness and love, respects and patience, as well as consideration for your partner’s feelings. Make it another deposit made into the love bank account!

Example: say you find out the reasons your partner asks about if she is fat or not are (a) want your admiration on her figure; (b) your affirmation on your love for her irrespective her figure; (c) she has low self-confidence over her figure and wants some ego boost from you or (d) just want to know other’s view about her. Once you know the underlying reasons and messages, you don’t need to comment on ‘yes’ or ‘no’ so quickly, you may start with ‘you know you have a sexy body that attracts me lots’, ‘you are the right size for me’, ‘I like the way you are’, ‘I love you no matter your figure’ and offer some compliments, give some hugs and kisses. If she insists your answer, ask her ‘what makes her feel this way’ and just listen to her reply, lead her to the source of her own perception about self; perhaps through the conversation, she may realize something.    

Today I love my partner by: (share it aloud to your partner)

Handling my partner with care, thoughtful consideration, love and respect.

For your actions:

(1)       Take few events in your relationship and go through them in your mind, ask yourself if you have been handling your partner with care? How would you handle it better?

(2)       Give yourself a chance to try different way of communication with your partner; use the opportunity to discuss with your partner on the topic of ‘how to handle your partner with care’ and to do some role play for fun.

 
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Posted by on August 27, 2012 in Thoughts

 

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