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30 Days on How to love your partner

Dear Friends and Readers,

After the previous launch of 30 Days on How to love yourself more, I have a great pleasure introducing this coming series of 30 Days on How to love your partner :)  

How our partners love us often reflect how we love them; how we love them is a reflection of how we love ourselves. We project ourselves, our beliefs, needs and wants in love relationship onto our partners both consciously and unconsciously, more than we are aware and knowing of.

I wish going through the coming 30 days together, we may reflect on our current relationship, existing values and behaviors in love (with self and our partners), as well as become more aware of our strengths and vulnerabilities; by making new decisions and taking courageous actions, we may love our partners (and ourselves) more and differently. 

It doesn’t take a master mind to know how to love yourself and your partner; all you need to start with is a willing heart.

Love from Hsing

 
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Posted by on August 1, 2012 in Thoughts

 

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Getting ready – Back to School syndrome!!

After the last few posts at the end of June (i.e. Completed – 30 Days on How to love yourself moremy plan on the weekly challenge How you love yourself in the next 90 days? (2012.W27)) and Enjoy right now being who you want to be ~ in early July, we have been travelling ever since (to Berlin for a weekend, to Scotland for a 10 days vacation, Istanbul this week)…

The plan was to prepare for the coming 30 Days on How to Love Your Partner (effectively 1st August 2012 – WATCH THE SPACE COMING!!), write and share more posts while during our travel… Well, plan always gets rescheduled and revised after unforeseen changes. Despite the change of plan, we have been enjoying the trip and each other’s accompany very much. (And ‘checked’ few more of our bucket list challenges!)

Photo from “Back to School Syndrome” By Woman’s Day

Now I have been back to work for a week and soon we will resume our bucket challenge post writing. I found the “Back to School Syndrome” has hit us, especially me. It’s not so much about acquiring the new goodies, but the parts that lack of energy, trying to shift the habits and routines from holiday mode to working mode, lots to do on the plate but need to settle down, refocus and prioritize properly on the job. I felt like to redefine my purpose and goals for a new beginning in the midst of all the events continue happening without me being ready, nor so much being in control. I felt left behind…

To children after vacation and back to school, it may be an adjustment of environments (home vs. school) or a shift adaptation in living routine (from a more free, less strict time schedule during holiday to regular schooling habits). It is believed children would soon pass through the phases and ready for school life again. While digging in a bit more on this long gone, but re-appeared “Back to school” feeling I have and re-examining this special relationship, I have found the psychological impact (at least for me when I was a child and guess there is till now): is that I felt everything starts again (set to zero), I need to set my goals, being in control, so I may perform and achieve and I am under the pressure of my own expectations. As at the beginning of back to school, I am still in the process of refinding myself and grasping the new; I become anxious due to not being in control, I become lost and energy less soon after grasping all directions for nothing. These phases and emotions all happened just in one go (within a split second). I am just at the end of the split second. I am totally surprised at my own findings!! (How my past experiences + emotion memory = resulted action just all copied and pasted over to the current situation!)  

I feel much better now as I slowly resuming my goals at work and with the posts writing (sometimes, something just cannot be rushed). I also love myself more (since it has become a very important subject) by changing my wordings and attitudes towards this high standard of expectation, from “I need to/should perform well” to “I want to perform well” without imposed pressure. It’s a simple change, but it changes the whole perspective for me.

 
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Posted by on July 23, 2012 in Thoughts

 

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Completed – 30 Days on How to love yourself more :)

30 Days to Love Ourselves More!! We did it :) Dear Friends and Readers :)

I truly hope that this 30 days mini-journey has helped you to understand and appreciate yourself better, as well as starting a life time journey focusing, caring and listening to your inner self with intensive love for yourself.

We are all God’s divine creation, (if you do not share the same view) at least your parents’ wonderful creation, we are here alive to live the best of our abilities, enjoy what we may create for self and others and contribute in return for what we have received in life. There is a higher purpose for each of us in our life. 

At the beginning of this mini-project, 30 Days on How to love yourself more, I commit because: I want

(a) to help a friend to love himself morenot he is starting to love himself more, even a baby step at a day, it is loving himself more each single day; at the same time our relationship grows stronger;

(b) to achieve my bucket list challenge goalyes and I am proud of myself :)

(c) to know and share the importance of self-love with more friends or readersI shared and at the same time, I am loving myself more every single day too!

(d) to receive some sharing on your precious life experiencesI received comments from few bloggers who shared the same views and their life experiences. They have encouraged me tremendously.

I have gained more than I gave. Thank you all who read my posts, shared comments, gave feedback and liked what I believe :)

I wish all of us all creating and profiting from the life we want and we create!

We are responsible.

Love from Cindy
 
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Posted by on June 30, 2012 in Thoughts

 

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Day 15 – How are you affirming and encouraging yourself?

A word of encouragement during a failure is worth more than an hour of praise after success.

In life, are you a person who seeking for others’ affirmation on “who you are” and waiting for someone else to say to you: “You are beautiful (or handsome) inside out”, “You are kind and wonderful to be with”? Or hoping for others’ encouragements to you: “You can do it!”, “You have what it takes to achieve your goals.” or “You deserve better!”? Ever being tired of seeking and waiting? How about the option you become the one who is constantly affirming and encouraging yourself? You take the ownership back?

We all need affirmations and encouragements, one way or another, in our life; especially at the period of having career or financial difficulties, facing emotional vulnerabilities or physical challenges, as well as on the path of self-searching. It is like the air conditioner in hot, sticky and humid summer; you may live and function without one, however you certainly enjoy and work much more efficiently, comfortably and with higher spirits if you have one serving you.

To affirm and to encourage is not difficult, but often being forgotten, especially given to self. An affirmation given to self on specific or appropriate area at good time restated self-confidence; an encouragement conferred to self at the right time re-boots and re-energizes the spirits!

How hard does it take you to affirm and encourage self?

 

Today I love myself by: (read the below aloud 3 times and listen to what you read)

I constantly affirm and encourage myself with kindness and love; I take the ownership of building and affirming my self-confidence, as well as keeping myself constantly encouraged with high spirit in life.

Today’s home work:

Right now, use up all 5 minutes; to give yourself as many affirmations and encouragements in the areas you think you would need affirmations and encouragements.

Encouragement for myself:

(It’s your space…)

 

 
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Posted by on June 15, 2012 in Thoughts

 

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Day 14 – Are you having fun with yourself in life?

Life is shorter than you expect; if you are not having fun with yourself, you will feel even shorter.  

Remember the last time you spent some quality time or had fun, laughed aloud till having stomach cramps with you? When was the last time you had a pleasant night out enjoying good food and drinks, watching a good show or movie or attending some exhibitions or events? Or maybe the last time you spent a day outdoor doing fishing, hiking, camping or even a little extreme, doing sky diving and gliding with yourself? Was it long time ago or very recent or never?

It’s not so much on what activities you do, but more on the idea that you share your favorite activities with yourself and enjoy spending time being together. You take yourself out, enjoy life and make yourself happy and having fun! Continue having fun in life without counting on others to bring you fun and laughter. You will provide yourself, you will be your having fun best partner!

What kind of fun activities did or do you like to do? Or activities that still on your to-do list, you just have not yet finding the time to do? Are these activities requiring the participation of friends, family members or others? Or can be enjoyed merely by you and yourself? Give it a try and do them with yourself. Sometimes you may find different enjoyment, teamwork and enlightenment from spending time with self. Not to let unavailability of you and others delaying you having fun!!

Right now, choose an activity that you always wanted to do or like to do; just ignore the “but…” and concerns, simply go ahead and take yourself out to enjoy and to have fun! Your action is the best loving deed to yourself!  

Today I love myself by: (read the below aloud 3 times and listen to what you read)

I promise to spend good quality time with myself, taking myself out to have fun; I surprise, provide and bring fun and laughter to myself. I am my best fun accompany.

Today’s home work:

Find 1 activity that you like to enjoy and take yourself out to do it. Just have fun and just do it!

Encouragement for myself:

(It’s your space…)

 
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Posted by on June 14, 2012 in Thoughts

 

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Day 13 – Are you looking at your best?

Always presenting at your best, showing both your inner and outer beauties; it’s like the icing on the top of the cake.

Take a moment to look at yourself in the mirror right now: how do you present and dress up yourself via your outfits, clothing styles, hair do, accessories or make-ups? And how do you convey your inner self through your manners, speaking tones, body language and as well as your actions? Do you always make sure you are looking and presenting at your best?

For Japanese ladies, putting make-up is a part of common courtesies; for Western countries, wearing covered shoes represents a form of politeness and sophistication. Despite different countries and different cultures, different people may have different definitions of “at one’s best looking”. It’s very subjective; however there is no harm to try presenting self at ‘the best’, i.e. with neat and clean clothes, spread a pleasant body scent, brushed hair style and fresh breath, as well as having well manners…etc.

If you are daring, make-over or revamp your current outlook. For example, try a new hair style, new clothing or shoes selections, put some make-up, wear different ties or hats (different accessories) and as well as the ways you communicate with your body language.

It’s not a matter of pleasing others with efforts, but it’s a respect you are giving to yourself, which at the same time, inviting others to respect you and appreciate the well-outlook you present them. It’s also about you honoring yourself, appreciating the way you look, the way you are, your outer and inner beauties which you are proud to share with people around you.   

Give others a chance to see you are at your best. 

 

Today I love myself by: (read the below aloud 3 times and listen to what you read)

I respect myself by presenting myself always at my best ability; I honor and appreciate my own outlook, the way I am and proud to share with others. If I want, I make the changes positively and willingly.

Today’s home work:

Find out the areas you always representing yourself at the best and continue doing it; find out the areas you’d like to make some new changes or revamp the outlooks and start the actions right now today! Be proud to share yourself with others!!

Encouragement for myself:

(It’s your space…)

 
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Posted by on June 13, 2012 in Thoughts

 

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Day 12 – How amazing is your body shape?

Your body shows to the world how you look like; not who you are.

Photo Credited to Beauty Redefined

Do you like what you see of yourself in the mirror? Are you happy about your body shapes? How much are you affected by others’ views, i.e. compliments or criticisms on your own body outline?

Few decades ago, in some countries, being big, voluptuous and plummy was a symbol of wealth and prestige. In recent years, being slim, bony and sticky represents trendy and success. Different era, different view of beauty; different person prefers different outlooks. While you are happy or unhappy about your outlook, having some kind of ideal body shapes for yourself, do you notice the question ‘who’ are you trying to please? Is it general public? Potential lovers? Or actually ‘yourself’?

If you are willing, take the perspective beyond, you may find it is actually ‘yourself’ that you are trying to please. If you accept ‘you have a sexy body outlook’, no matter what your body size is, you will have sex appeal; however, if you take as ‘You have ugly body shapes or oversized body’, then even if you have the body like a devil figuratively, you will feel ‘ugly body shapes and oversized’. The point here is it is not how others’ views of your body shapes determining how you feel about yourself, but your own view and acceptance determines. No one should make you feel bad about your own body. Full stop.

Be a little kind to your own body shapes, accept it and appreciate it. If you are not happy about it, let’s work on it with kindness, good programs and constant self-encouragement. Changes are not happening just over the night, especially with our body shapes, which involve pre-determined factors like genetic make-up, individual metabolism that you cannot really do much about them and other factors like eating habits and exercise routines that you could put some efforts on. So it is at least 50% in your hand; you may decide and work on how you like to appear.

Photo Credited to Beauty Redefined

Today I love myself by: (read the below aloud 3 times and listen to what you read)

I accept and appreciate my own body shapes and my genetic make-up; I am kind to myself, I am supportive and positive if there is any change or effort needed. I will not let anyone to make me feel bad about my body shapes.

Today’s home work:

List out what you like about your body shapes, i.e. sexy bottom, nice curvy waistline…etc., and admire your own body; list out the body parts you would like to be kind to, accept them the way they are and start to appreciate and see them in a positive way.

Encouragement for myself:

(It’s your space…)

 
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Posted by on June 12, 2012 in Thoughts

 

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Day 11 – What you need to hear from your body?

 

What is the point of having the wealth of the world, but you don’t have the health to enjoy it?

What are your physical conditions at the moment? I.e. within reasonable weight, reasonable blood pressure ranges, good heart function, adequate sleeps, good stamina and having regular exercises? Are you treating your own body with the best care or are you abusing it without even knowing it. Are you noticing the signals your body is showing you? And if your body is speaking to you right now, what is it saying?

Don’t deny it, you hear what it is saying. Just accept what you hear.

There are many health articles, exercise programs and recommended supplements out there available, all with an aim to keep you healthy. What is the use if you neglect to hear the voices from your body, neglect to care for your own health? You may scarify own sleeping time and body resting time a little for your career; or spoil your liver a little in exchange of drinking pleasure; or pollute your lung a bit just to enjoy the pleasure nicotine brings. Ultimately it’s your body, your health, you are responsible and you decide. But you cannot ignore the message your body is communicating.

If you have been driving the night shifts for a while already, working under high level of stress and pressure, or … etc (you will find out what matters for you), this is the moment to be aware and decide if this is what you are willing to scarify your health in exchange of what you are getting in return. No one will know your body health as much as you do (perhaps your doctor) and no one will care your body health as much as you do.

If you don’t take care of your own body health, who will?

Today I love myself by: (read the below aloud 3 times and listen to what you read)

I listen and be aware of the signals and voices from my body, I take cautions and I act before it is too late; my body health is as important to me as my mental health, I take priority in taking good care of my body.

Today’s home work:

List out the signals and voices that your body has been trying to tell you, i.e. not sleeping enough, random headaches, always thirsty, fast breathing…etc; find out the reasons behind and see how you could change the situation.

Encouragement for myself:

(It’s your space…)


 
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Posted by on June 11, 2012 in Thoughts

 

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Day 10 – Are you letting the force of nature guiding and loving you?

Are you letting the force of nature guiding and loving you?

Listen, to the whispers of the wind, blowing away your sorrow and regrets; Stay still, in the shower of the rain, cleansing your mind and soul; Revive, with the warmth of the sun, fulfilling you with love and hope.

What we didn’t know or didn’t see doesn’t mean it does not exist. The force of nature is always around us, if we choose to notice and feel them.  They exist for a higher reason: to restore the balance of life at its own timing. They bring messages to all of us, individually and as a group to mankind, if we choose to listen and understand.

What is your relationship with the force of nature? Do you listen and how do you feel when the wind blows? What is your view about the rain? And when was the last time you enjoy a good sun bath and let the sun warms you inside out? Do you pay attention to the things you are taking for granted? Are you enjoying the smallest things happened in your life?

There are so many nature wonders and gifts around your life, waiting for you to simply notice and enjoy them. They bring pleasures, messages, dangers and warnings, as well as the power of restoration. It is important and valuable if we could understand and leverage them in time. Benefit and learning from the force of natures; let them show us, guide us and love us in the journey of loving ourselves.

Let these nature forces and gifts around you to restore your life to balance. Maximize their presence and maximize your life.

Today I love myself by: (read the below aloud 3 times and listen to what you read)

I notice the nature wonders, i.e. gentle breeze, strong wind, sea, rain, thunder, rainbow, sun shine…etc, around in my life, feel the gifts and the power they are bestowed with, the messages and the restoration they bring to my life. I know the force of nature is with me, guiding me and loving me.

Today’s home work:

Paying attention to the force of nature around you right now and listen to them. (Right now, I hear birds chirping to celebrate the power of life; they encourage me the vitality of life. And a big smile on my face, knowing I am not alone.) If necessary, take yourself to nearby sea side or places where you could feel the wind, rain or the sun or many others… Just listen and feel, let them cleanse you, take away your negative emotions and thoughts, let them fill you with what you need, so you feel fulfilled.

Encouragement for myself:

(It’s your space…)


 
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Posted by on June 10, 2012 in Thoughts

 

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Day 9 – How do you heal yourself?

By the power of nature, everything heals itself; so do human. By the power of love, humans not only recoup, but also regenerate all what are needed to start again!

You are not the only one who get hurts, get rejected, get cheated or abandoned…etc. Every one of us, in a life time, would have some experiences which left a deep cut in the heart or emotionally. Despite our survival instinct and protection mechanism, it seems getting hurts, one way or another, is a part of our life; let alone the hurts happened repetitively.

So how do you heal yourself? Do you leave your cuts alone and let them heal naturally themselves? Or do you disinfect them and take good care of them while healing is taking place? Either ways lead to recovery. However, if you take very good care during the healing process, you will not just have the cuts healed faster and better, you are also enhancing and equipping yourself with the knowledge and cautions to make wiser decisions (hence to avoid getting hurts again), as well as regaining the courage to face the future, to start again.

The first level of the healing process is to have you pay attention to your cuts and how you would make your cuts or yourself feel better, reduce the pain level; the second level requires your courage and honesty to find and face up to the root cause of your cuts. Sometimes to find the root cause may be even more painful as you need to dig through all the ‘seemed healed but sensitive’ cuts in the past in order to get to the original cut

To heal properly and completely is not easy and it requires more than just natural recovery. But if you face the hurts bravely at the first time when it happens, treat with the best care and love you can give, you will reduce the times getting the same hurts in the future.

Today I love myself by: (read the below aloud 3 times and listen to what you read)

When I get hurt, I take care of myself physically and emotionally, I find ways to make myself feel better; with courage and honesty, I find the causes behind my hurts, accept and forgive these reasons, so that I will equip myself and regain the courage to face the future and to avoid the same hurts happen again.

Today’s home work:

Take a moment to remember how do you heal your hurts in the past; what worked and what didn’t work? Explore around ways of healing yourself in both levels and try them out. Dedicate yourself a song which will help you in the process of healing.

Encouragement for myself:

(It’s your space…)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kzdekl3Qj8c

(This is my healing song)

 
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Posted by on June 9, 2012 in Thoughts

 

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